Doubt anyone really reads these but whatever, it makes my day go by I guess

Moved on to a new chapter of my life now, in this chapter things are running pretty much on empty just now, getting pretty tired of same old routines, same old stuff happening, morale's pretty much hit an all time low. Just broke up with my girlfriend basically because she could and should do a hell of a lot better than me, just figured I wasn't right for her anymore, she had so much going on and I wasn't helping by being stupid and being generally shit. So i'm pretty much down right now.

I'm trying to focus on my college work right now, my course finishes in a week and a bit so I've got some odds and ends to finish up and I should acheive my HNC within the next two weeks. (HNC in Electrical Engineering, for those who didn't know). So I guess I'm pretty happy about that and It's nice to know that I'm getting something right.

My friends are all rallying around trying to help me, and I can't thank them enough but I just feel like I've gotta get through this on my own but for some reason I've pretty much given up right now, everyone around me is having great times and enjoying themselves and for some reason I can't seem to be part of it, I just keep cutting myself out. Just hope things get back to normal soon, I hate the fact that i've given up on myself....... It's actually a pretty depressing thought...... and now here I am, pouring my heart out on an online community like some pathetic loser...... aww well beats the hell out of the work I should be doing right now.

Alanna, If you're reading this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, just try and get on with things and don't feel bad or guilty, you deserve to live a great life and have fun, don't let me drag you down.

Hopefully I'll start putting some new stuff up soon, starting to do more art-ish kind of stuff to cheer myself up lately so yay!

Thanks for reading........ if you didn't read this then you're probably lucky

I'm not completely gone yet, I'm starting to cheer up more and more, it'll just take some getting used to I guess, things were always working out too well for me, guess now that i've fallen, i've fallen a lot harder. It'll get better, I've got good friends, a job and a family that care, I've got a hell of a lot to fight for and thats what matters.

It's not the falling that matters, it's how or if you get back up that matters. I intend to get back up off my dumb ass and do some good for a change.